On a typical night I’ll come home from work and the gym with a bag full of fresh groceries to a husband that is winding down from a crazy workday himself, ready for a good meal. The routine is simple, greet him, put away the groceries, shower, cook dinner, and finally it’s Netflix time. It’s a simple routine, but it’s ours. He and I have binge watched The Wire, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, Orange is The New Black, and most recently, House of Cards. It is to the point now where I don’t even have the patience to watch a show week to week. (But Game of Thrones, do hurry back. I cannot wait any longer.)
He and I spend many a night curled up on the couch enjoying commercial-free streaming TV while we let our food and wine settle. We are truly enjoying each other’s presence even if we aren’t engaged in conversation. Just enjoying the peace of pleasing one another is enough. Last night we went to bed early with the intention of rising early, only to get into a discussion around the mysterious missing Malaysian plane. So we went down the Google rabbit hole playing detective trying to figure it out. This then turned into a power watching session of “Between Two Ferns” on his iPhone. How does this happen? I have no idea. Our weekends are all over the place. Either we’re catatonic on the couch after crazy morning hours at the gym, we’re cleaning up while dancing around, we’re out at a community event, or we’re out-of-town living the party life. We do what we want*.
It’s like that when you don’t have kids.
He and I have been married for a mere 6 months. While we dated for 3 years prior to our marriage (2 prior to engagement), things felt different once we tied the knot. It was the truth that “forever” is such a concrete idea and with that it became glaringly obvious that we have plenty of time. Our family and friends playfully pick at us about when we’re going to have kids, and I hear them. I know I’m not getting any younger and my eggs are steady cooking, but I still feel like I have time. My career is taking off, his career is taking off, I don’t see why we have to slow down just yet. I don’t think that’s selfish, I just think it is important to us that we’re focused on bringing our children into a world that we’ve carefully prepared for them. They say you are never ready, but for us we’d at least like to be more ready than we are today.
Just the other day we booked tickets for our vacation in Greece this summer. We did so not worrying about daycare or pining for wee ones that we’ll miss while we spend a week drinking champagne in Mykonos and dipping our toes in the Aegean off the coast of Athens. Right now we’re floating, carefree and excited about one another. We’re enjoying whimsical vacations, late nights talking about nothing, and late mornings getting ready for the day while blaring Pharrell. This is our choice, and we’re happy with it.
If it is selfish though, we’ll take that. When we finally do have children we’ll raise them to love and live life with the same passion and ferocity that their parents did. We won’t hold them back from seeing the world because it’s what we did. We will cherish every moment we have with them because we waited so patiently to bring them here. Don’t get me wrong, cute little bouncy babies are absolutely in our future and we are very much looking forward to it. But I can understand when I see childless couples and they shrug away the questions around their reproductive choices. I don’t judge those that choose childlessness. There’s something to solitude and only worrying about oneself.
In the meantime, The Beau and I have a beautiful niece and nephew that we absolutely cannot get enough of. We have a handful of infant cousins that are always welcome to spend a weekend at The Walton’s. We have plenty of friends with newborn preciousness that we’ll gladly take off their hands for a few hours.
Just so long as we can give them back.
*Super disclaimer. Kids are awesome and we get that they don’t completely stop your life. We also get that having children can increase the happiness and joy in your life. We get all of that. We support our friends and family that have all the kids.